Coping with Personal Change
Below is an excerpt from my article Coping with Personal Change. If you are interested in reading the whole article please comment below with your email and I will send it to you for free!
Coping with Personal Change
Changes often bring with them a feeling of fear, panic, or grief, followed by denial, and finally, acceptance. Such reactions are common in someone who has just lost a loved one or gotten fired from his job.
In the case of a loved one’s death, grief is important. If you refrain from grieving, you block your transformation, and with it, your return to normalcy. Coming to terms with your loss is important and may help prevent long-term depression.
”If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want,
you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer
because you can’t hold on to it forever.
Your mind is your predicament. It wants to be free of change.
Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death. But change is a law,
and no amount of pretending will alter that reality.”
- Dan Millman
Melissa was deeply involved in her spiritual community. Her mentors there pointed out that she had a habit of drawing attention to her helplessness in certain situations. This made the other devotees pity her instead of being inspired by her.
As a senior devotee, Melissa was expected to set a good example. She was shocked by the revelation of her needy attitude. Melissa had never perceived herself in this manner, but her mentors were right. She did tend to play the role of the lost little girl.
Thinking that this difficulty had come about because of her openness, Melissa decided to stop discussing her personal life with others. However, two weeks later, she made the same mistake again. Although she wasn’t complaining about the difficult situation in which she found herself, her aura was so full of that helplessness that others sensed her negative emotions.
Melissa began to observe her thoughts more closely in trying situations. How was she projecting an aura of helplessness? Why was she feeling helpless when every circumstance she encountered was meant for her spiritual growth?
Through practice, Melissa trained her brain to think differently. In a few months, she became the strong senior devotee whom others could emulate.
You, too, can bring about this kind of change in your own life. But like Melissa’s transformation, it must start from within. A comment from a friend or mentor may catalyze your growth process, and you may be motivated by your support network, but the actual desire to grow must begin with you.
“Don’t be deceived into thinking that by changing the external,
the internal will be changed. It works the other way around.
The path that needs changing is the one in your mind.”
- Susan Jeffers
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